Whee, I'm back! Behold my tanned boobs. ;)

Anyway. Lots of sun, fun, booze, food and gambling. Which is good, considering I was already broke, but hey. Vacations are supposed to be enjoyed, and I did.

Glad to be back despite the crap going on in the city, only because I'm so worked up for the Oscars tomorrow it's not even funny. It's really pathetic, but I'm gonna be stuck to the TV all day long. And if things go well, I'll probably be online afterwards and get very little sleep.

Now, those of you who think the Oscars are all about shallowness, you're right. ;) Take a look at this year's Gift Bags.

The official bag goes to the nominees and the presenters (unless where noted):

a.. For Best Actress nominees only: A Victoria's Secret jeweled pink bra-and-panty set with a detachable diamond brooch, fragrances (and a special $7,000 worth of swag)
b.. Coupon for laser eye surgery
c.. Gold accented Havaianas flip flops
d.. Manolo Blahnik leather "My Shoes for the Weekend" bag, perfect for traveling with three pairs of Manolos. It comes with matching suede sandals
e.. Hermes cashmere shawl/blanket
f.. La Grande Dame Veuve Cliquot champagne
g.. Baccarat crystal earrings (for her) or crystal lighter (for him)
h.. Baccarat champagne flutes
i.. Estee Lauder products: “crystal glow” sugar rub, "calming body spray", an assortment of other items and spa treatments for recipient and a guest
j.. Round-trip tickets to anywhere Song Airways flies
k.. Crest Whitening Expressions toothpaste
l.. Kiehl's gift set, value $500
m.. "The ultimate HDTV package": VOOM high-definition satellite and 12 months of programming service as well as a 43-inch Samsung DLP HDTV. Value: $6,000
n.. Peacock Black Pearl Collection gift set including an 18-inch necklace, seven-inch bracelet, and stud earrings, from PearlParadise.com.
o.. “Canadian Adventure” package
p.. -a one-night stay at Whistler Platinum
-a day of skiing on Whistler Blackcomb
-helicopter transfer between Vancouver and Whistler
-private tour of Canada's premier family-owned winery, Mission Hill Family Estate
-three nights at Opus Hotel in Yaletown, Vancouver
-dinner at Elixir restaurant
-air tour of Vancouver
q.. DuWop cosmetics in a custom-designed gold and silver striped tube along with a yoga mat and yoga pants
r.. $1,500 steak dinner at Morton's in a private room
s.. $500 Krups espresso machine
t.. Two Round-trip business-class tickets on Air New Zealand from L.A. to Auckland
u.. 5-night stay at New Zealand's Treetops Lodge & Estate in secluded Rotorua, New Zealand (above airfare may be used separately)
v.. Two nights in a suite at The Carlyle Hotel
w.. SeaDream seven-day cruise for two to the Mediterranean or Caribbean
x.. Pollaro Custom Furniture $5,000 gift certificate
y.. Christina Oxenberg Knitwear neck scarf or shawl
z.. French perfume bottled in Baccarat crystal emblazoned with the nominee's moniker
aa.. Charles Worthington shampoo gift pack ("made-in-Wales with a cool £4,295 price tag")
ab.. Gift certificate for a free TAZ I from Tight Systems, a personal video and media player
ac.. GINGI skincare products
ad.. Motorola, as it has in recent years, is giving out cell phones not yet available to the public. The V600 cell phone, equipped with an activated SIM card. It comes in a custom-made box, engraved with the recipient's name, in the shape of an old-time film camera that features an audio snippet of Mel Torme's classic rendition of "You Oughta Be in Pictures."
ae.. Kyocera 7135 Smartphone with the Sherwood Personal Security Mobile Security Protection package included
af.. PCS Vision Video Phone VM4050 by Toshiba, courtesy of Sprint, personalized with an engraved monogram and ringtones and screensavers from the appropriate movie
ag.. Personalized Anastasia diamond tweezers with an 18kt white gold chain and heart-shaped diamond (for Best Actress nominees only, value $2,000)
ah.. Limited edition tin of Altoids mints, encrusted with crystals. Each tin takes up to 10 hours to create.
ai.. Nyakio’s African black tea candle
aj.. Jelly Bag (like these, basically a rubber version of the Hermes Birkin)
ak.. $750 piece from the new Talismania collection, the new jewelry line from porcelain sculptors Lladro
al.. Tina Earnshaw Makeup set
am.. Chocolate-covered strawberries from Brymm Berries in Houston, TX
an.. A glass ornament in the shape of a shopping bag with the Oscar logo, handcrafted in Europe, designed by Lisa Kelechava of Tennessee.

For those just presenting (as well as the major nominees), there are the Buzz Bags, the unofficial gift bag:

a.. Mothership Bag from Fleurville (a $165 tote bag)
b.. Tumi weekend tote
c.. Lulu Guiness Fishnet Tote
d.. Signature bag from Lauren Scherr ($150)
e.. Amy Schwab cigar box purses ($200)
f.. Hollywood Star Jammies, silk and satin pajamas ($250)
g.. Sterling silver Swarovski crystal bracelet that says "Movie Star"
h.. Kookoon silk throw
i.. A selection of Carolee jewelry for each actor including a pearl ring, a Swiss tank watch and a jewelry box to keep them in ($800)
j.. Marker's Mark one of a kind bottle of bourbon in a bottle with a silver seal.
k.. Three bottles of cabernet sauvignon, including a signed magnum, from the Corley Family Winery
l.. Spa gift certificates from Ling Skin Care in Manhattan.
m.. Reflect True Custom personalized beauty products
n.. Bath & Bed Works gift package
o.. Styli-Style cosmetics package
p.. Kerstin Florian anti-aging caviar line of products ($500)
q.. Gift package from Weleda.
r.. Alexis Vogel System make-up package and a DVD to help apply it.
s.. Susan Posnick Colorflo Brush and foundation powder.
t.. Magic Focus 5X magnification mirror
u.. Consultation with Dr. Craig Ziering of Ziering Medical for hair restoration
v.. Lee Jeans vintage jacket
w.. Eddie Bauer Washable Seattle Suede jacket
x.. LOONS Paris sunglasses
y.. Playboy flipflops
z.. Carushka Bodyware for men and women ($150)
aa.. Pair of Yellow Box Shoes
ab.. Caldrea aroma therapeutic cleaning products
ac.. Waterpick full body shower panel, showerhead and automatic flosser with whitening tips
ad.. Weekend getaway at any W Hotel except the one in Sydney (who knows, anyway, $800)
ae.. Kimpton Hotels VIP gift certificate for two nights in a luxury suite (for nominees only)
af.. Cary's of Oregon soft crunch English toffee
ag.. Two LA Sky Meals
ah.. Altoids crystal embellished tin
ai.. Double Happiness Catering offers a full Dim Sum lunch for 8 with instructions for making your own from a celebrity chef.
aj.. Four gift certificates to New York's Manning Institute
ak.. The book "Chicken Soup to Inspire the Body & Soul" and a group of magazines
al.. Mattel's "Armani Barbie" - a Barbie doll wearing the designer's latest.
am.. PEZ dispenser - 50th Anniversary Collector's Edition - packaged in a blue velvet bag with a silver PEZ logo.


And finally, for the losers in the six major categories (Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Actress, Director and Best Picture producers), Caesar's Palace is offering an "Everybody Goes Home a Winner" giftbag at Caesars in Vegas:

a.. Two-Bedroom Penthouse Accommodations for a Three Day/Two Night Stay
b.. Four front orchestra tickets to a performance at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace
c.. Round-trip limousine transportation to and from Caesars Palace and McCarran Airport
d.. $3,000 food & beverage allowance to be used in any Caesars Palace world class gourmet restaurant
e.. Day use of a VIP cabana at the beautiful Garden of the Gods pool oasis for two days
f.. $1,000 spa allowance to be used at The Spa at Caesars
g.. $5,000 gift certificate to shop at the glamorous stores of The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace
h.. Specialty gift items from the Celine Boutique at Caesars Palace

You know you're in Hollywood when you even get something for losing. Damn.

Now, back to the Alias Marathon on TV.