Yay unproductiveness and procrastination! I can't stop reading/posting on ILX, and I have to get some work done today. How is THAT going to happen, well, don't ask me.

On the other hand, the idea of going to see Carl Cox tomorrow sounds appealing, because it seems the guy's kinda cool when DJ-ing. However, the jury is still out on that one.

Stay tuned.

I just read in the paper that in only two weeks, Caracas will have its own Hooters headquarters across the San Ignacio Mall.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at these news.

I do wonder why we haven't been invaded by Starbucks yet, which is something I could be pleased with. Gay coffee becomes me.

It seems that these days it's easier to make me happy, probably because I'm starting to hang out with people who can make me happy with ease.

Yeah, it sounds silly. But take for example this very afternoon, when my boss had me in the meeting from hell for about two hours: I was ready to cry from sheer frustration, because I didn't need to be there, especially after hours, so I left the office in the foulest mood ever.

But as I was coming home in the cab, I decided to take out an old tape by My Bloody Valentine an old friend sent me ages ago, and started to listen. The world started to get blurry outside with the rain, And since the windows of the car were a bit rolled down, I had a few drops falling on my face. I closed my eyes, listened to a mellow voice and at that moment, I was happy again.

It's all really in the little things.

So, my cousin's party last night.

In a nutshell -- booooring.

But! I looked nice (plaid skirt, black turtleneck and fuck-me boots) and felt nice, everybody said I looked way hotter thinner, and my table had a great time (parents, stepbrother, stepsisters and wacky relatives). There was much mocking of annoying guests, lots of champagne and lengthy discussions of The Matrix and LoTR. You can never go wrong with another geek on the table.

And cake! I ate a slice of cake. My goodness, I thought I had tasted heaven! ;)

And dancing. Lots of dancing in my stiletto boots.

Now, rest for me.

Just signing in to say:



The Marlins win the World Series! Fuck yeah!

Resons to be happy about it:

- Not only did the Yankees lose, but the Marlins won the game in NY.
- The Yankees didn't even score a run. Hallelujah!
- Roger Clemens is not only retiring, but he lost the last game he pitched.

There IS a God.

Intense day, to say the least.

Got soul-searching, reassurance, trust, and a really intense amount of love I never thought I'd get. But now I know that I have it, even when I can't really have it. Complicated, but good.

I'm unbelievably thankful.

Hollywood Preaches Anti-Piracy to Schools
As part of its campaign to thwart online music and movie piracy, Hollywood is now reaching into school classrooms with a program that denounces file-sharing and offers prizes for students and teachers who spread the word about Internet theft.

So what? Now Hollywood will teach morality to kids? A fake morality based on their own greedy interests? This is so fucking low and self-serving that it makes me sick.

Sigh.

I have a family reunion on Saturday. My aunt is throwing a bigass party for my cousin's 15th birthday. So, lots of adolescents and pumping bass in the background. My big problem with this, apart having to deal with the "cooler-than-thou" teens is of course, clothes. Nothing fits me anymore. So I have to go out and buy new, hip clothes with money I don't have. I guess I'll have to hit that credit card like a mad woman.

So, there's no way I'm going formal to this. I won't wear jeans, but you know. Something more comfy. What I'm thinking for outfit is this.

1) Long-sleeved black shirt, something like this, but more fitted. The piéce de resistance? A tie. I was thinking black, but since the rest of me will be totally black, maybe I could add a bit of color with something like this.

2) Black pleated skirt. In the back of my mind, I guess I want one like the one Maru and I saw on Saturday, which is something like this, but much more sexier and in leather. Rowr. However, since I don't think I'll get to buy something like that, this kilt in a darker tone could be a nice choice. I used to have one exactly like this one, but only God knows where in my closet is it. Finally, I can only dream with something like this, which is so totally gorgeous I could die.

But anyway.

3) Hosiery and footwear. I have these boots, mid-calf version:



I feel like wearing those with fishnets. Could be backseamed for a nice touch.

4) Hair and makeup. Hair could be straight or like this, but slicker and cleaner. Makeup? Dark eyes, very black.

Okay, I have this thing sorted out. Too bad I have to go shopping Saturday morning. Eeeek.

I saw Britney Spears' new video, "Me Against The Music" on Launch this morning as soon as I turned on the computer, considering Yahoo was bombarding me with the "WATCH IT NOW! NOW, WE SAY!" ads. ;)

Unimpressed doesn't even start to describe it, even if the video's guest star was Madonna. And even she was a waste of resources. I didn't really like the song in the first place, but I had hopes that I would like the video. Not a chance. It's the exactly same dancing, thrusting and panting she's done before. It really bored me to tears, which is quite sad, because I've always guiltily enjoyed Britney.

However, since she's not even able to pull a proper cover art for her new album, I'm kinda disappointed. I guess I'll download it and see if there's something worthy of listening, but I think I'm over her now, and I don't feel sorry in the slightest.

I wonder if I'm getting over the pop. Have I really become an ironic hipster? Hmm.

1) Me wanna lick Craig Parker.

2) There's a Glam karaoke CD!! Must have it to alienate friends at parties when I ask them to sing "The Ballroom Blitz" with me in a drunken stupor. ;)

3) I need to stop playing this fucking ping pong game.

Look what I just received on my e-mail:

News of the week

Pre-sale of Matrix: Revolutions, this Wednesday, October 22 on Cinesunidos.com

GREAT WORLD PREMIERE:
Same day...
Same time...
In all the globe.

Wednesday, November 05 at 10:00am

Don't miss the chance -- buy your tickets!

I am. Freaking. Out!

Is it too geeky to play hooky at work and go watch this movie at 10:00am?

Should I get my ticket for that day at a later hour when the geeks that have to work like me can watch it?

And most importantly, who's coming with me?

::dances::

God, I feel like such a loser today.

Like a stupid, conformist underachiever with no self-esteem.

Pulling an Enid and pack a bag and go the fuck away.

1) My e-mail revived! YES! I'm getting spam again!
Update: False alarm. Still dead.

2) Bless Joana, who's my new Friendster friend. Yay! [Are you on Friendster? Friend me. Please. ]

3) The Marlins WIN!

(I just painted my nails and toenails black. They look so damn cute.)

Went out cd-shopping with Maru today and had the most wonedrful time walking all afternoon and feeling quite Latinamerican while doing so. Why, you ask? because you've never experienced the joys of third-world economy until you've walked in Sabana Grande Bouleverd in Caracas. Ambulant sellers does not start to decribe the street boutiques, cd + dvd "shops", the impromptu beauty salons and unlikely tattoo + piercing parlors in the middle of the street. Priceless.

Anyway, I think we must have browsed through THOUSANDS of cds today, and though I didn't find what I was looking for, I did get some kickass stuff:

Gary Glitter - The Greatest Hits
Placebo - Sleeping With Ghosts ::preen::
Molotov - Dance and Dense Denso
Radiohead - The Bends
Radiohead - Ok Computer (fucking brilliant!!!)
Sweet - The Best Of
Duran Duran - Greatest

And to prove once again that I'm really a gay man trapped in a busty woman's body:

Soundtrack - The Sound Of Music

I was thisclose to getting the soundtrack of The Wizard Of Oz as well, along with a couple cds of Queer As Folk Remixes and the last concert of Nico. But at that point, I was kinda broke, so it'll have to be next time. ;)

Maru got some Gustavo Cerati, Massive Attack abd Groove Armada, not to mention an absolutely scrumptious Depeche Mode poster I ended up buying for her, only because she was beaming for it in utter joy, and I love to see her so happy. :)

Another good thing today was lunch. We ate some yummy, YUMMY chicken at this grilled specialties place at the El Recreo Mall with great gusto. ::happy sigh!::

Next project: Finding The Velvet Undergound and T.Rex cds in Caracas even if it's the last thing I do, and acquiring the rest of the Radiohead discography ASAP. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved them, but I've never bought their records because I'm lazy. But no more! Here comes the Radiohead obsessive love. ;)

10-4 -- I need to see the Yankees lose the game.

PS: And Chris? Look out for the FedEx guy soon. :P

I've been imposing myself the worst kind of pain for the last hour, browsing through hundreds of SexySweatyLusty!Dave Gahan pictures.

Here's a random image from Depeche Mode's Exciter tour:



To say that I would do things to this man is an understatement, and yet the most decent thing I can say.

I need a cold shower.

1. Name five things in your refrigerator.

Water, apples, lettuce, turkey, eggs.

2. Name five things in your freezer.

Ice trays, meat, chicken, bacon, vegetables.

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.

Big pan, small pan, huge pot, small pot, medium pot.

4. Name five things around your computer.

Pile of cds, water bottle, letter opener, mini tv, marker.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.

Old, sticky bandaids, old toothbrush, merthiolate, gauze, iodine.

::YAWN!::

My e-mail died. I'm depressed.

Send all your spam to ironichipsterATyahooDOTcom.

::sigh::

Last night Pedro Martínez dug his own grave by unnecessarily prolonging his welcome on the mound when it was obvious a new pitcher was needed. Therefore he fucked his own team by letting NY tie a game that the Red Sox were only six outs away from winning. Asshat. Boone hit a homer on the 12th inning and boom -- it's over.

Bambino curse my ass.

That said -- fuck the fucking Yankee bastards.

I'm rooting for the Venezuelan players in the Marlins.

The people at CHUD got to see a 20-minute preview of RoTK a few days ago.

An excerpt:

You hear that, AMPAS??? We're not going to settle for Best Picture and Best Director. No, we want Best Actor for Gandalf, Best Supporting Actor for...well, shit, who? Viggo? Samwise? Best Special Effects, Best Sound, Best fucking everything. Don't be stingy and make yourselves look bad to history. Just hand over all the goddamn trophies to Lord of the Rings.

Now.

NOW! Don't fuck around on this one. McKellen already got fucked out of one Oscar for Gods and Monsters by the shrieking bitch Pink Panther pretender. Don't let that happen again.

I'm warning you.

Full spoilery review here.

The Cubs lost.

And they're still blaming that poor fan from game six and the damn goat.

You guys lost because you CHOKED. You needed to win only one game and lost three.

Morons.

Well, if you can't keep it in your pants, at least
you're keeping it in the family. Hopefully,
Grima will call the cops on you once he gets to
Isengard.


What Lord of the Rings engrish subtitle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Not only did Bossman engage in an absolutely useless discussion with three of us a while ago, thus turning my complete humor into crankiness hell, but also one of my providers decided today was the day to be a bitch to me and be whiny and crybaby because he can't always get his way. I gave him a peppy talk that basically said "Well, NONE of us do, dude, so deal with it!" while what I think was me ripping his head off. Which was a bit harsh, but he had it coming a while ago. :-/

Something else. I know we all have different tastes, but some people have none. NONE! My Insurance neighborette got her PC sexed up and now she's cranking up the most awful music ever. Really. I'm not saying she has to play my CD's on her computers, but that stuff she listens to makes me sick. Thank heavens for headphones, otherwise her toxic sonic waves would have to permeate into my Suede CD. ::shudders::

So, short of patience today, a healthy amount of hostility... I think I'm set up for tonight's baseball game, huh?

I'm currently trying to recover some CD's that I've lost (given away, used until they died or literally lost), and I'm angsting over it, because I can't seem to be able to find them anywhere in Caracas.

The wishlist, as follows:

The Velvet Underground (and Nico) - The Velvet Underground (NOWHERE to be found, unbelievable)
The Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat
The Velvet Underground - 1969 (I found these really cheap online at the most unlikely place: Recordland. Who'd have thunk it?)
The New York Dolls - The New York Dolls
Roxy Music - Roxy Music
Roxy Music - Avalon (backed up on mp3)
The Who - Quadrophenia (backed up on mp3)
The Stooges - Raw Power (backed up on mp3)
The Clash - London Calling (backed up on mp3)
My Bloody Valentine - Loveless (backup on tape, but an overplayed onr)
Marc Bolan & T.Rex - 20th Century Boy: The Ultimate Collection
Marc Bolan & T.Rex - Slider
Marc Bolan & T.Rex - Electric Warrior
Bauhaus - Singles: 1979-1983, Volume 1 and 2
The Sex Pistols - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols (backed up on mp3)
Jou Division - Unknown Pleasures

Of course, since I'm looking for these, I get hungry for some extra CDs as well. In a matter of minutes, I've built a 60-record list of things I must own. Of course, I don't have money for this kind of stuff, and I've never bought 60 records at the same time. But it should be orgasm-inducing.

Now, where was that bank-robbing manual?

Is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in Friendster?

Holy shit. First Pharell, now this guy.

Should I introduce myself or something? Hmmm...

I was going to go on a roll and speak my mind about tonight's Sox/Yankees game, but somebody at Fark stole my thoughts:

1. Wow, is it funny as hell to see Zimmer eat it while trying tangle with somebody 2 centuries younger than him!!! Hey, Zim, had you retired after your stay as Cubs manager....

2. Wha? The Yankees are dodging any responsibility in this? That's so unlike that upstanding team of gentlemen!

3. In a perfect world, Roger Clemens will be sodomized with an AIDS-infected baseball bat held by Nolan Ryan, who chuckles while asking, "You still think they'll compare you to me?" Ryan was known for striking out batters, not beaning the ones he was afraid to pitch to.

Your mileage may vary.

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?

Hm... not on a regular basis, but I do lean towards baseball and football (REAL football, not that thing they play in the US).

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?

Baseball: my local team, Leones del Caracas (who fucking ROCK!) and I'm currently rooting for the Cubs and the BoSox in the MLB, despite the fact I've been a Braves fan for years. When it comes to players, I must mention Greg Maddux (picthing beast), Omar Vizquel (greatest shortstop ever) and Mike Piazza (who can't catch, but hits the ball like a mofo). And I usually cheer for any Venezuelan on any major league team when he makes a nice play, so. :)

Football: I owe my loyalties to Venezuela's National Selection, but until they make it to the World Cup, I get hoarse cheering for England (all-time favorite), Germany and the Neetherlands. I used to be a fan of Brazil, but they're just the same without any charisma anymore. Now, when it comes to specific teams, I must mention Ajax, Manchester United and Barcelona. Sometimes Arsenal. But now I'm sort of leaning towards Real Madrid only for David Beckham. Meh. Players: David Beckham, Alessandro del Piero, Michael Owen, Gianluigi Buffon, Iker Casillas, Oliver Kahn, José Luis Chilavert.

3. Are there any sports you hate?

Boxing.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?

Hell yes, I've been to lots of baseball games. Love it!

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?

I was in the gymnastics/rhytmic gymnastics team in school for about three or four years, which comes in handy at my old age when doing yoga -- I'm still kinda bendy. I was also on the volleyball team in high school, but only for a season, because I was better at cheerleading.

I woke up awfully late today, at 6:00 am. Eeeek! So in my dressing hurry, I picked the first jeans I came across: my favorite ones.

They turned out to be the wrong ones.

Now, at the office, I found out they don't fit me anymore. They literally fall off my hips (!) -- I had to tie my sweater around my waist to prevent the pants from falling down.

Of course, this is a good thing, because it means all these months without eating a single slice of pizza have paid off. On the other hand, they ride so low now that I can't bend over to do anything because I will share my underwear choice of the day and my plumber's crack with whoever is near.

Why do I know this? Because when I was making coffee earlier, my boss told me: "Hey, I didn't know you had a tattoo there."

Ka-ching! Embarrassment does not even start to describe it.

Since I'm not feeling that hot since yesterday, I decided to get a mood analysis at Colorgenics:

"You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate (..) but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

It's the old old story - I am misunderstood - my partner (...) just doesn't understand me and YOU also believe at this time that you are being completely MISUNDERSTOOD by one and all. It then obviously follows that you naturally feel inhibited and not appreciated. It is perhaps because of this belief that you feel compelled to stand back and let the rest of the world go by. As for developing a firm relationship - inwardly deep down in your subconscious mind you are wary of even trying to get close to another person because you feel that if you open up your heart and feelings you are sure to get hurt. Since you are living in a society where close relationships are the norm, you feel that there is that need to conform, but any close relationships of any magnitude that you may have tried in the past have unfortunately left you without any sense of emotional involvement.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a 'fantasy land' but unfortunately 'fantasy land' is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was."

Accurate is an understatement. I'm freaking out with these results. @-@

Well, I've never been an exhibitionist, but the Boobiethon.com initiative sounds great. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, this site has put up a link for donations, but the really good part is that you get something back. What is it, you ask? You get lots and lots of boobie pics. But not your usual porn pics -- you get to see the breasts of all the ladies (and some men) who submitted their pictures as a thank you to those who gave some money for this cause.

Now, how much do I regret not having a digital camera? This is a great excuse to let these girls hang out and meet the world. :)

I hate me when I do this. Why oh why, when I'm feeling most comfortable with someone, when I'm trusting them blindly, when I've reached a ridiculous level of trust towards them that's been building for YEARS, when I feel all warm and fuzzy, I fuck it up. I start thinking that I'm getting the wrong idea, that I'm getting ahead of myself, that I've imagined the whole thing, that probably this person is like this with everybody else ("you are NOT special, get over it!"), and that perhaps I'm being too pushy or too dependent or too stalker-ish. That I'm building expectations I won't ever fulfill no matter what.

In short, I end up convincing myself that I imagined the whole thing. And therefore, I pull away and detach myself. I retreat to my corner and feel totally miserable, half hoping I'm wrong, half hoping I'm right. Maybe waiting for a sign that assures me. Probably because it's my damn heart that's on the line there.

I am completely aware this post is totally contradicting with what I said on Monday, yes. But at this moment I don't think I can handle the whole thing very well. I think I'm feeling dizzy, even.

How fucking PSYCHO am I? I swear, I'm going bloody mad.

Okay, angst.

::whimpers::

It's just NOT possible that I've consumed 5,000 Bs in text messages in only FOUR HOURS! Fucking ripoffs!

What I really hate about this is that I'm gonna have to go, spend 10,000 Bs I can't spare and switch to the ilimited text messages plan.

Aaaargh!

Ooooh.

Viggo goodness. Hmmmm.

How weird were the news this weekend? First, Siegfried's Roy gets attacked by one of his tigers during a performance in Vegas, and the Chicago Cubs get to go to the posteason for the first time in 95 years. Dude.

Thank heavens on my side things were not that hectic. Let's say my weekend started on Thursday with one of the best phone calls I've ever made. It's really quite something to finally speak with someone you've known and shared so much with for so long, and finding out you really have a special bond you can't possibnly have without anybody else at that level. Amazing. The only bad thing was having to hang up and not getting to hug the guy goodbye, but hey. At least I got some sleep, because I was afraid I wouldn't, with me being so disgustingly happy.

I also made my peace with one of my best friends, Rajzea. She logged into MSN Saturday night and we started to talk a bit. I must admit I was a bit held back because I was a bit angry with her for disappearing for so long out of my life, but it seems that what we have is way more stronger than time and distance and whatever petty obstacles we could find. We really had a intense, fulfilling conversation there. It suddenly hit me how much I missed her all this time.

These talks with Ned and Rajzea, and another one with Maru on Saturday made me realize that yes, some people do love me. I know it sounds silly, and I don't know why I always think people are only nice to me, but that they don't really care about me, and I'm so awfully wrong about that, because damn, I'm fucking lovable like you wouldn't believe, and it's such a shame the jerks I've found in my life have riuned me for everybody else. But not anymore! So yes, letting go and let yourself be loved by your friends is a fantastic feeling I recommend to everyone. I feel hugged all over, man.

Oh, and I have new layout coming soon. Just a bit more of Photoshop and this baby's ready to go.

God help me, I've been pulled to the dark, endless pit that is ilXor.com.

Now, I need to work on my mad ironic hipster skillz.

;)

Okay, I'm in a pickle here.

See, I have this great pal at the office, a fantastic guy that I can always torture and tease without mercy, because he's always up to the ante and not a sissy. And it's great, because he never takes my jokes and stuff the wrong way. But these days, I've been noticing him becoming more... er... bold. As if he's especially keen on turning on the charm with me for all the wrong reasons, and then the inevitable happens: since I'm not interested on him that way AT ALL, I go all elf princess on him, unreachable and distant. Which I hate, because I really care for him but I really don't want to get through the whole "I only like you as a friend" lame routine. Which I also hate.

Also, yesterday someone at the writing workshop told me the teacher "really, really likes you -- haven't you noticed?" and it. Freaked. Me. OUT. This is another guy I constantly tease and pick on, because he's too easy to meddle with. Heh. And it's fun. But eek! No!! Why?

Am I a bad person? Should I have seen that coming? I know I don't do it on purpose -- I'm just like that. :(

The really ironic part of all this, is that the guys I really like are either a) absolutely immune to my ironies (maybe because they don't get them or simply don't care) or b) even worse than me, so hilarity ensues.

It seems the way to go is elf princess and no more witty repartee from me to guys that can't take them. A big BOO!! for them, I say.

Meh. :(

On this fine day, I need to quote Robbie Williams.

Oh, I haven't got a clue what to do with you
Jesus, all the things my head's going through
God what am I going to do with this crush?

I am all of the above man
I am what you want man
If you want me here I am
Come and get it baby, uh!