So I come back at 2:30pm after a meeting outside the office with the boss only to find Maigua with a very stern face, telling me to sit down because she had to tell me something. I was immediately worried.

Maigua: Remember what your Secret Santa told you yesterday?
Miggie: Yeah, he was going to send me a special present today.
Maigua: Your present came 10 minutes after you left.
Miggie: Oh, no! What was it?
Maigua: A stripper.
Miggie: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? NOOOOOOO! WHO WAS IT?
Maigua: You don't wanna know.
Miggie: Do I know him?
Maigua: Uh-huh.
Miggie: (realizes who it was*, screams, throws self on the floor on the verge of tears)

It's a given I haven't been able to form a coherent thought for the rest of the afternoon. Listening to Hawksley sing "Lust" doesn't help me, either.

*old dancing teacher who's the epitome of hotness and hip-grindin' goodness